I believe that the academic equivalent of the pizza party for office workers is the Employee Appreciation Awards. At first glance, the concept sounds nice and recognizes the hard work we put in every day. If nothing else, it’s an excuse to get everybody together before the end of the semester to see each other one last time.

Normally, I couldn’t care less about a meeting like this. It is nice to acknowledge the hard work of someone who gave some of the best years of their life to a place, and now they are retiring. To those people, I say good for you. I am glad that you were able to carve out a niche for yourself and that you contributed to the success of the campus. That sort of thing is commendable. I am glad that they can get that moment in the sun.

However, this year’s meeting was a different experience for me. I know that I am on my way out. Just over a year ago, I was notified that I would not be returning for the Fall of 2026. Romulus University decided that my services were no longer needed here. Despite any official word to the contrary, I know my termination was a purely financial decision. I like to joke that I must die so that everybody else can have a cost-of-living raise. I do admit that I am not the most handsome martyr, though. As I write this, I have yet to receive a job offer, but I am a finalist for several positions at different institutions. I know committees like to take their sweet time, but this is getting on my nerves.

Knowing that you are about to be on the unemployment line while attending a meeting like this is too surreal. This is especially true when Fearless Leader opens the meeting by talking about all of our accomplishments and what will contribute in the future. That comment is hilarious to me because all of my future contributions will be at another institution. For most of the meeting, I did my best not to choke on all of the irony being spewed in front of me. It is hard to take anything seriously when the person who is ingratiating us with all this flowery prose about hard work and dedication is also the one who authorized my termination.

The cherry on top of all this garbage is the fact that I received my five-year service award in front of this crowd. I will say that I appreciate Fearless Leader acknowledging my efforts in coordinating the symposium and student conference, as they handed me the cheapest cardstock award sheet. That is more than what our provost, who looks more like a dentist than an academic, said to me. We then had a group photo, and I returned to my seat.

Honestly, I didn’t want to be there. I was hoping more than anything to attend this meeting in the school colors of my next destination as a form of petty retribution. If I had known early enough, I would have worn a polo shirt with my new job embroidered on it, but that was not to be. I am not a fan of most faculty functions, and this one only drives the point home even more. A bunch of people lurching around a free breakfast and groaning about losing out on door prizes like a bunch of old people when they hear somebody yell bingo.

The saddest part of all of this nonsense is that I was content to stay here. I had no qualms with bending over backward to stick around. However, this past year has exposed me to aspects of this campus that leave me feeling alienated. I would have been one of those people who would have easily given all of my best years to this place. I thought that I had found a home here. Sure, there were parts of this gig that were mind-numbingly dull and banal, but I was cool with it.

I have said this in several other posts, but I believe Romulus is heading in the wrong direction. I am seeing actions that will only maintain a culture of ineptitude. While I could rant about that here, that is a conversation for another time.