Failing Upwards

professors

  • Here is Your Award, Now Get Out

    I believe that the academic equivalent of the pizza party for office workers is the Employee Appreciation Awards. At first glance, the concept sounds nice and recognizes the hard work we put in every day. If nothing else, it’s an… Continue reading

    Here is Your Award, Now Get Out

  • This is a Little More Like It a.k.a. Campus Visit #2

    We’re back with another tale from a new campus visit. As before, I’ll share highlights and assign a grade for this trip. If you’re worried about suspense, I’ll say now that this place will earn high marks. Now that the… Continue reading

    This is a Little More Like It a.k.a. Campus Visit #2

  • Did They Get Their Questions From Guantanamo?

    Since I am back on the job market, I have been fielding many interviews. As of this writing, I have had 15 interviews with schools of various sizes. By and large, I am encountering similar questions at every institution. Most… Continue reading

    Did They Get Their Questions From Guantanamo?

  • Now We Have a Color Code for This?

    I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that I will be writing about our school’s parking problems again. The good news is that this should be the last time I ever have to write… Continue reading

    Now We Have a Color Code for This?

  • What is this Elitist Mindset?

    After several interviews and campus visits with potential suitors for my services, I have reached a worrying conclusion about my fellow faculty. It was something that I originally thought was limited to the cultures I experienced at Remus and Romulus,… Continue reading

    What is this Elitist Mindset?

  • An Athletic Club With An Educational Annex

    There is a sketch from Saturday Night Live in which a football player, played by John Cena, is taking his final exam in a science class. While the other students present work appropriate to the course, Cena has several bananas… Continue reading

    An Athletic Club With An Educational Annex

  • The Parking Struggle Continues

    In some of my earliest posts here, I would talk about the banal subject of campus parking. While I think this topic is of little consequence, others around here take it as seriously as a heart attack. In the past,… Continue reading

    The Parking Struggle Continues

  • I Am Not Here To Be Liked

    One of the more interesting aspects of my job is student evaluations. It is the academic equivalent of the comment card restaurants used to keep on their tables. For those of you who are younger than 35, a comment card… Continue reading

    I Am Not Here To Be Liked

  • If You Hate It, Why Do You Do It?

    As much as I may bemoan my station here at Romulus University, I still love doing what I do. Even in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would be able to do what I love and make… Continue reading

    If You Hate It, Why Do You Do It?

  • Here is a Plaque, Now Smile Like You Mean It

    With all of the department’s calamities during my second year, there was one bright spot for me. As the school year ended, I received a notice from an academic journal that they wanted to publish my research article. The piece… Continue reading

    Here is a Plaque, Now Smile Like You Mean It