Regardless of your opinion of the movie Downfall, it sheds light on the last days of the administration that ran the Third Reich. You are watching people who know that the inevitable is upon them as the Soviet Army is quickly approaching Berlin. Everybody in the bunker is making plans for what they will do when the time comes, when everything collapses. Some are fully prepared, some are in denial, but they all are aware that the end is descending upon them.

I am not suggesting that Romulus University is like the Third Reich, far from it. However, I am seeing behaviors characteristic of people who know that something dire is about to happen. I see it in the face of the administration and the faculty. Something is amiss, but they can’t put their finger on it. I can’t quite describe what it is, but I can tell something is askew around here. It might be that people appear to be grasping at straws of hope. It could be that everything happening on campus feels like we are throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. Things feel scattershot and out of focus.

If I could zero in on something instead of speaking in vagaries, it feels like Romulus is scrambling to put butts in seats for the upcoming fall semester. We introduced several initiatives, at least that is what I am calling them, to attract students to come to our campus. The first of these bright ideas circulating on campus includes creating new athletic clubs. I have nothing against athletics, even if my previous articles make it sound like I hate the concept with a passion.

Sports teach young people valuable life lessons about failure and perseverance. I am friendly with several of our coaches, and they understand the role they play in preparing students for the future. The problem comes when we try to draw students in with new sports that I worry are more flash than substance. The most flagrant offender is the new E-sports proposal.

I love video games just as much as any of my students do. I’ve beaten every version of the Legend of Zelda (the CD-I games don’t count) out there. I hold high-score records in several states, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around how this institution will keep up with the required infrastructure to maintain the program. The computer rigs players need to stay in competitive shape, which is just a weird sentence in thought and in structure, are expensive. These machines need to be updated often. Will the number of students who join the team offset the cost of new computers? We have faculty computers and computer labs that are digitally antiquated. If we can’t keep our little Honda cars in decent shape, how are we going to maintain Corvettes? Do you have any idea how much the tires for those things cost?

I know the athletics budget can cover this sort of thing, but I do wonder what the mindset is behind such proposals. We are desperate to get more butts in seats. Since Romulus is a private university, we rely more on donors and student numbers than public institutions do. Our biggest draw is our athletic opportunities. I still joke that our student body is 115% athletes. We have a minuscule number of students not attached to an athletic club. The coaches recruit their butts off and manage to bring in students from all over the country, and the planet. It is impressive how they do it.

The problem arises when the athletes arrive and realize they landed in an area where personal transportation is essential if they want to reach civilization. Most of them want to get out of dodge the moment they encounter their first Amish person out in the community. I can’t fault students for wanting to leave here as soon as they can, whether through graduation or transfer portals, because the local geography around Romulus sucks for young people looking to be socially active. I will refer to this school as Alcatraz to our students, but it feels more like an extended summer camp. That might explain why our retention numbers aren’t that great.

All I know is that our Fearless Leader and those in the inner circle are thinking way outside the box. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I am starting to wonder if they see what is coming and are in denial about it. If that is the case, I hope my fellow faculty members have started making contingency plans. I had no choice with my planning, but now I feel more comfortable leaving before everything comes crashing down.