I understand that when it comes to recruiting students, there is a lot that goes into the process. Numerous factors come into play when trying to secure a commitment from these kids. No matter how well anyone plans, there may be a small detail that a potential student notices, which determines whether they will join your school.

At Romulus University, we apparently stress over the details to an unhealthy degree. When we hired our Fearless Leader, they needed to tackle the issue of declining student numbers. Since the mid-2010s, the size of the student body has decreased by 60% compared to its zenith. Now we struggle to fill the seats at the school with what we can get. That is why 115% of our student body is here on athletic scholarship. Use that information as you see fit.

However, this emphasis on looks and staying “on brand” is hurting us more than it is helping. The biggest contributor to this hindrance is our Fearless Leader. I understand that school logos should meet specific standards. Nobody wants their work to look sloppy when they are trying to recruit people. On several occasions, Fearless Leader has insisted that the school logo be prominently displayed. If it does not happen, some unlucky soul will never hear the end of it. Even if it is a faculty meeting, the crest must be present. You don’t need to convince us. We work here. We need the paycheck. Calm down.

Over the summer, some difficult decisions necessitated the relocation of specific academic units on campus. One unit was going to move into my building, which would consolidate the faculty members under the same roof. Logistically, it makes sense. The move would leave one building vacant, but that was too much for Fearless Leader to handle. They insisted that the building could not be left empty. Their rationale was that because the building was too close to Old Main, it couldn’t be unoccupied.

Meanwhile, the rest of the administration used data to support the argument to make the move. It would take nearly a month before Fearless Leader relented, and the move went forward as planned. The only reason they could progress was that another academic unit agreed to move into the space. Apparently, this was enough to assuage Fearless Leader. All of this fuss over an empty building that happens to be one hundred feet away from the President’s office. Last time I checked, empty buildings are easier to clean.  

This manic behavior even occurs with the most mundane tasks. My office is close to the lead designer’s office. They handle all the graphical work for school materials, whether they are printed or online. The stress this poor person has to deal with every day when something is submitted, reviewed, and published looks like a nightmare. Several people in the administration, including Fearless Leader, breathe down their neck about the look of things, demanding changes immediately, but take their sweet time to approve changes. Then, these same people scream at the designer when something is late and is needed now. The most amusing aspect of this laser-like focus on branding is that nobody notices that our mascot’s identity and design do not align. I will simply say that the bird Romulus uses does not resemble the one we use in our logo. They are two different species, but nobody around here actually knows the truth.

Fearless Leader has everybody so preoccupied with looks that I can’t help but notice how it affects them. In public, Fearless Leader is pleasant and warm, but behind the scenes, they are cutthroat and demanding. I don’t see anything wrong with knowing what you want as a leader, but your character shouldn’t go through Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde transformations several times a day. Fearless Leader reminds me of Mom from Futurama. She is sweet and loving to the public, but is deranged and cruel away from the cameras. They are like two different people. I am seeing this masking with our President, and I wonder how long it will be before they snap. Hopefully, I will no longer work here when the rose garden is nourished with the blood of a dissenting staff member.