Since I know that I will no longer be associated with Romulus University in the near future, I decided to take off a few of my restraints. Seriously, what is the school going to do, fire me early? 

Among the many things that nobody likes to do, but which I genuinely enjoy, is our faculty symposium. I like the event so much that I organize it every year. Too bad somebody else will have to lead the charge on this undertaking next year. I can’t imagine who they will get when I am gone. I imagine they will recruit the Loch Ness monster for next year’s event because finding somebody willing to take my place is going to be harder than it was for me to gather enough presenters, since everybody claims to be too busy to do anything.

When I released the event schedule, I received an email from a concerned faculty member about the presenters I placed in the largest room. They were scared that students wouldn’t care about what they have to say because the presenters are, in their words, “horribly boring”. First of all, the two presenters are Emeritus professors of the school. One of them just happens to be a world-renowned literary critic who is still doing good work, even in his eighties. That may explain why they are so good at literary criticism since they were around during the invention of writing. Regardless, they are guests and as such they will receive the proper treatment. I don’t care if the students are bored out of their skulls. They will learn something from this experience, even if the lesson is to never show up late to a boring event again, because you end up listening to the most boring person in the history of forever. Besides, the room is the most accessible for the speakers. I will not be responsible for one of them breaking a hip just because you didn’t want somebody boring in the largest room. 

The funniest part of this request is that the person who asked me to make the change is reportedly one of the more boring professors on this campus. Several students feel the need to tell me that this person is so dull that they would rather read the textbook than listen to them. You know it isn’t good when a student would rather read a book than listen to you speak. I think there is a line about pots and kettles that could go here, but I am not that clever. The requester wanted me in the largest room since “your stuff is far more interesting.”

Contrary to what people read on this website, I don’t have an ego. I am the type of person who would rather do their work with their head down than receive any kind of recognition. It means more to me when a student thanks me for helping them than getting an award. If I wanted center stage, I would have scheduled myself to be there.  

Besides, my presentation was one of my last opportunities to make a large portion of the students uncomfortable. I have concerns about the male loneliness problem, and I highlighted several things that people in their age demographic are struggling with. A number of them were appalled by the actions of their peers who would rather marry an AI bot, but this is the group they belong to. The biggest kick I got during my talk was hearing some students deny the claims I was making, yet they were doing many of the indicators I was discussing. I would probably have a horrific case of the gout if I weren’t choking on the irony on display. 

All in all, I had a blast running my last symposium. Even with the teeth-pulling to get people to participate and the nagging over content on center stage, I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. I feel satisfied with my work, and I know it won’t mean much to the students, but I take pride in organizing a platform that might not continue after I am gone.