I am not a fan of this time of year. There are several reasons for this, but I am not here to expound my December-related traumas. I think I could fill the entire website with all my rationales, but it still wouldn’t be enough space to get my justifications out there.

Today, I want to talk about the campus event that I detest more than a faculty meeting. It is the mandatory holiday party the campus administration provides every year. I am not a fan of fun (as is clearly illustrated on this website) but I would prefer not to be surrounded by my fellow faculty who look like they want to be anywhere but here. It looks even worse when they are wearing festive clothing and still look miserable. At least there wasn’t Christmas karaoke this year. Thankfully, I duck out as soon as I can. I make sure somebody in the upper echelon sees me and then I look for quick exit.

This year, instead of addressing the low morale issues on campus, Romulus thought it would be peachy keen to have a Christmas door-decorating contest. More than a few people decided to dress up their doors because that might distract them from their crippling depression for a couple of minutes. I think most people figured that there might be a prize involved. I mean, contests usually award some sort of prize to the winner. Turns out, the brain trust handed out participation awards with “clever” descriptions about their doors to everyone who played along. No prizes whatsoever. Just the same finger foods and mandatory fun we get every year at the holiday party.

The sad part came days later when someone posted their “1st place” door on social media. They were boasting about how awesome their door was and even showed their “award,” which does not say 1st place anywhere on it. Now, half the people in the building are grumpy about this brazen arrogance because the poster didn’t win anything, but is acting like they won the Super Bowl.

I find the whole thing hilarious. How low has your self-esteem fallen that this is your crowning achievement? Secondly, why would anybody get mad that someone is trying to find a glimmer of happiness, even if it is a lie? Let these poor people have some fun before this place strips away their last shred of dignity. Some people are so callous.

Happy holidays. I hope you and yours get all the pizza and cookies they can choke down at the company “mandatory fun” holiday party.