One of the fun things we as faculty get to do around the start of the new academic year is fill out our annual faculty report. The goal is to highlight your achievements, illustrating to the administration that you are doing things that warrant keeping you around. Faculty can list practically anything they want that they feel supports their growth. They can list publications, conference attendance, artwork, and even helping a little old lady cross the street during a light mist. It is also supposed to help faculty members keep track of their progress while they are in pursuit of tenure.

At my first department meeting of the year, our chair mentioned that they would like to have a copy of our faculty reports by the end of the month. To me, that sounds like a good lead time because I keep track of my accomplishments in a separate file so that I can easily transfer them when the time comes to do this paperwork every year. I have a difficult time remembering everything I do, so I need to keep some form of documentation to remind me. However, there were a couple of members muttering to themselves about how they don’t need to update anything in their reports, and laughing about it.
What I am about to say is not a slight against my faculty, but their mentality. How can anybody make light of the fact that they contribute nothing to scholarly progress? How could anyone revel in the fact that they do nothing but the bare minimum of their job? I knew people like that at Remus. They hardly did the minimum. Some of them would show more videos in their class than provide personal instruction.

I never understood how some people at any institution I ever served would say that they are too busy to help with things. They aren’t doing institutional service, nor are they doing any scholarly work. What are they doing that has them swamped? I would put money on the notion that they are doing nothing.

I never understood the concept of boredom because I am always doing something. A lot of my fellow faculty love to disappear when the summer comes. It would be one thing if they were out conducting research or something, but they are not. That is why I can never understand why a lot of them look haggard whenever we come back for professional development. What did they do the entire summer, sleep?

I have to do things. I have to stay busy. It is in my DNA. My maternal grandmother was still mowing her lawn at 93. My paternal grandmother was still driving herself around and running errands for people at 86. I have a saying that if I ever stop, I will die. After looking at how some of my fellow faculty don’t produce anything, I would feel dead inside if I were in their shoes.